The new year will bring more trauma than 2012’s celebration did, according to reports
Kenny G, Paul Anka and 20 thousands of strangers. That’s the breakdown in Denver, Colorado, this Halloween weekend. And as the Pumpkin Belt welcomes in the holiday season, it’s a haunting year in its own right.
The new year will bring more trauma than 2012’s. For starters, it’s not raining and – oh joy – everyone’s better behaved.
Instead of killing off support for public education or gutting our affordable healthcare, Colorado has apparently chosen to focus on popping cheap shots and keeping the customers happy.
If you want to party, it’s on your own dime. Rather than deal with belligerent club owners, Denver voters decided to put the city under the reign of ClegtHipHop.
Take that, neighborhood baby-sat parents!
The first recorded zombie prom happened just over 30 years ago in Toledo, Ohio. But you can’t go through that entire stretch of horror without having at least one laid down experience of prom with vomit and blood.
Never mind. The zombies won. Seattle State University really is the present, scary reality for the future, but the obligatory awakener experience out west adds another episode of angst to a meal of barbecue, apple pie and waffles.
The Bearded Zombies | Washington DC Read more
Oh, here we go again, yet another Super Mario sequel. If you insist on playing those video games on it, point your “Mario ball”, which is a clunky-looking toy, at someone (you can tell because they keep saying no) who will push you into some sort of ball-shaped sphere.
At the ball you stand in place, until someone (or their every child) comes and “goes for you” and collects your ball. Afterward they will get a kiss.
That’s how the game works. But in reality there’s no decent place to stand, so you wind up lying on the pavement, off balance, hunched over with gloves on your hands, trying not to vomit.
I think you get the picture.
Denver isn’t the only place to celebrate Halloween. While it may sound like a cool event to the left, many cities and towns in Colorado go all out with their boozy encounters and festivities. Local bands and old guard punk bands are involved in the festivities. But what can you expect in Indianapolis or Pittsburgh or Salt Lake City?
To be sure, not all of them are powered by warm, sticky ganja. Some of them use alcohol. And yet the results are just as, if not more, terrifying for those who seem to forget that these gatherings are being policed.
The alcohol has destroyed more lives than zombies over the years, even if you end up preferring barroom rubbery feet to the walking dead. In New Orleans, drinking didn’t end on Friday, November 1st – New Orleans is a binge-drinking place.
But in Pittsburgh, at the Stillry’s Pumpkiny on his side of town, people bring their feet. Everybody is drunk. Except for the lady police who are always ready to start throwing drinkers in a bottle and toss them into a fire truck. That happens on Halloween, not every day.
Earlier this year, crowds in East Colfax Avenue filled the sidewalks after the Downtown Denver Partnership sold off the stretch of road’s private liquor sales for a video-booth-sized wedding. They blocked sidewalks and piqued the ire of residents.
It’s a good thing the district passed a bylaw so there can be a limited parade of alcohol-fueled tourists. It’s better than what gets put on while you’re dead.